"Shyness is nice and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You'd like to
"

i've been listening to the smiths on repeat

it has been raining lots

i like the rain
i would like to lie outside on the grass in a sheer dress until i'm soaked through and sneezing
but i am scared of what the neighbours will think
and that makes me sad
i try to make friends but i am insufferably awkward and laugh at inopportune times
but i am who i am and i make no excuses

lately
handsome strangers sit next to me on the bus
thigh against thigh
the slightest flutters of almost-touching pleasure
a catch in my breath
sometimes
i emerge from my own head
and realize i would like to have someone
to gently place their hand at the small of my back
to feel the warm pulse of another human being when i wake up each morning
and that is as far as i get

the promise of summer is sweet
dancing beneath the moon
daisychains
old blue bicycles
adventure
windblown hair

i need to stop dreaming within a cage
i will do things

xx
sara

8 comments:

Athena. said...

beautiful, eloquent, and you create such lovely images with your words.
I'm so, so nostalgic for summer now.
I can almost smell the daisies blooming outside my window.
love and love and love,

E said...

you are the dearest and sweetest <3 such beautiful words. so often i feel the same... but magical things will happen to you despite the shyness in you, they'll only surprise you more.

nina said...

you're so beautiful.
i love your blog.

~Abby~ said...

yes do them. dreaming is nice, but actually doing the things you want to do is even more nice.
it rained last night. :) thundered and lightning.
it helps me sleep.
xx,
~Abby~

fractured skeleton said...

dearest sara, your posts always, always make me feel that i am not alone in the world with the way i feel about things. i too would love to do what you said after the rain, but i know my neighbours will think i have gone crazy <3 and i agree with 'E' above, magical things will happen to you, even if you are shy <3 love from suzannah xxx

Clara said...

oh my dear, I've been feeling the same ways. so lonesome and strange to the world, yet desperate for people, touch, and love. so, I can't say much except that I know deep in my soul (because I have to believe it) that the magic will come to us shy girls who dream in their cages even if the door is open or the key in reach. We WILL find the strength to step out or say something. and things will be happy for us in the end.
love, Clara

Clara said...

oh I wish I had seen a selkie or a mermaid, I think I was out at the wrong times, mid day at low tied doesn't seem like the right time for those sort of spottings sadly. however, one evening I did go out to the shore at night when the sky was pink and there was something like a siren's call on the wind... so that was good enough for me. <3
love, Clara

Megan said...

Sara, it makes me so close to tears to read this. I am so like you, so very much. I can't explain it - unlike you I haven't got such a way with words.
Rain is beautiful and misunderstood. Dancing in the rain dressed in a beautiful white dress would almost be like a fairytale.
Summer shall be sweet Sara, and you might just find what you are searching for.
The last two lines in particular sara touched me... I need to do the same.
Stay lovely Sara, to me you are so inspiring x