I don't know what's going on anymore.
I'm sorry for disappearing, but my family has essentially turned itself upside down in a matter of weeks.
I can't even think.
This summer is a whirl of tears and crushing humidity.
I've pushed so many people away.  I feel guilty for wanting things.  I feel guilty a lot.
I've retreated so far inside my mind that I'm paralyzed.
Analysis paralysis.
Too many decisions, and I can't move forward.  My legs won't take me.
I'm waiting for some sort of sign from the universe that I know will never come.
Because that's my problem, I wait too long for life to happen, not realizing that life is now.
And I know, I know I need to push myself.
No more excuses.

So please, please realize this.
I'm saying this both to myself, and all of you out there that will read this:

  • Do not wait, that day will never come-it is NOW
  • If you are not scared, humiliated, embarrassed, making mistakes and failing, you are not LIVING
  • There is not enough time to worry about what other people think of you, besides, they are far too busy thinking about themselves.
  • Live for you, and the rest will come.


brooklyn. said...

This is amazing. I especially love the bullet points. Those definitely put a spring in my step. Thank you, darling. I needed to hear this.


E said...

I am so happy that you're back, but sad to hear you've had troubled times. I wish you all the best, remember that everything tends to happen for a reason and in the end everything will turn out to be good.
(And you are so right about those points you make)

Love and magic,
E xoxo

Clara said...

oh my dear, dear Sara. I've been wondering about you, hoping that you were okay. I think we all need to hear this, it can be so very hard to live, espeically when we feel that we are alone. but sara, know that you are never alone. there are lots of lovely people who love you and wish the absolute best for you. if ever you need something, let me know.
Love, Clara

Jhordyn Ashley said...

You have very inspirational words dear swan, and you seem to be an utterly wonderful person. Just lovely <3

xx and hugs


E said...

To your comment: yes indeed, i'm an august baby too (26th), such a wonderful month.

Caroline Cakewise said...

Your blog is absolutely gorgeous. I love it. And these last posts have really spoken to me - I feel kind of stuck in the mud and unsure of my direction at the moment! xx